How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
