I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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