Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is my gift to your gina
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
