Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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