Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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