Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
