don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
please don't ironically join a cult
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