I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
