There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
