is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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