the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
its not stalking. its research.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
