Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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