I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
