ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize