So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
