New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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