It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
