I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
