Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Small penises have feelings too.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
