he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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