Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
