belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
