Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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