He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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