i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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