I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You left your underwear on the fireplace
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
