whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
