She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
