New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
