I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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