i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
