He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
