someone threw a dead crab at me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
