I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
