i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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