youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
