I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
