Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
