I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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