Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
