it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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