Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
