Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
