So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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