Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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