so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
