The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize