do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize