The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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