shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
