Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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