I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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