okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
