Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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