I'm really into asian looking animals
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
