Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize