Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
