p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
