i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
