Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize