Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
