just come out here and I will go home with you...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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