i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
