just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize