he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
