I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she looked like the before picture.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
