so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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