im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I would fuck him just for his dog
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
