it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
