Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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