i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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