What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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