The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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