dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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